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24 votes
Can you revise my paragraph

Can you revise my paragraph-example-1

2 Answers

11 votes

Answer:

You need to look over your punctuation in the first line. In the first line, Instead of "while there" I would put " while attending". Instead of "she", I would put "Nesbit"

Step-by-step explanation:

User Draca
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5 votes

Answer: you should take out the part about the dog but overall it good

Step-by-step explanation:

User Sander Saelmans
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