356,151 views
40 votes
40 votes
Tell me if my essay needs anything or if it's good. PLS JUST LOOK THRU IT AND TELL ME IF ITS GOOD OR NOT.

Greg Ridley from "The Treasure of Lemon Brown" changes from the beginning of the story to the end of the story.

In the beginning of the story, Greg was avoidant because he decides not to go home. He was scared, in the beginning of the story when they meet, the author adds "Greg took a small step backward" because he was intimidated by Lemon Brown. Greg was skeptical at first, in the story Greg says “I’m not looking for your treasure,” Greg answered, smiling. “If you have one”.

Near the end of this story Greg becomes caring, Lemon Brown went down the stairs behind Greg. "When they reached the front door the old man looked out first, saw the street was clear and told Greg to scoot on home.

“You sure you’ll be O.K.?” Greg asked." this shows that Greg cares about Lemon. Greg becomes appreciative of everything he has, I know this because the author includes "Greg pushed the button over the bell marked Ridley, thought of the lecture he knew his father would give him, and smiled."

Greg developed in character from the beginning of the story to the end of the story, he started out avoidant, scared, and skeptical. Then ended up being caring and appreciative.

User Gdelente
by
2.9k points

2 Answers

26 votes
26 votes

Answer:

The start of the sentence does not make sense. Consider changing it from

In the beginning of the story, Greg was avoidant because he decides not to go home. He was scared, in the beginning of the story when they meet

TO

Because he chooses not to go home at the beginning of the story, Greg was avoidant. He was terrified when they first met in the beginning, the author adds....

Also, there are some minor mistakes, like writing it in past tense, then present tense, but I don't want to be too pushy about it. The rest is well structured and well written.

Congrats and good luck!

User Eugene Chow
by
2.7k points
18 votes
18 votes

Answer: The start doesn't really make sense, be more specific. Also try not to use "In the beginning of the story" so much. Other than that, looks good, good luck!

User Rene Koch
by
2.7k points