I think it sounds a little too repetitive. Maybe you should try replacing some of the parts that say "texting while walking" with something else. Also, you need more commas. For example, your essay says, "In the text it says". There should be a comma before it and after text.
Claim: I would give you a 4.
Evidence: 3.5 (commas)
Reasoning: 4
Counter Argument: I think you could expand on why people think they shouldn't ban texting while walking. I see that you addressed the opposite opinion on it, but continued explaining why it should be illegal. I would suggest expanding more on the opposing side and what makes them think that texting isn't a problem while walking. I would give you a 2.5 on this currently.
Conventions: 3.5