Question

HELP PLEASE!!! 06.06 Your Writing, but Better Worksheet

Part 1: My Rough Draft (5 points)
Below, paste the first draft of your exposition from Assessment 06.03. Remember—you have already written this exposition to continue the story for either "The Hare and His Ears," "The Farmer and the Stork," or "The Sheep and the Pig."

My first draft: The pig on the farm was an adventurous soul. The pig loved to graze in the fields and was content with its life. The sheep, on the other hand, was always looking for trouble. The sheep would often try to warn the others to join to keep the others safe, but everyone always declined. The Farmer was a money hungry man who took care of the animals on the farm to earn his profit. He would feed them and make sure they were big and healthy. In the countryside, life was peaceful. The fields were a lush green, and the sky was a bright blue. The farm was surrounded by rolling hills, and there was a small stream that ran through the fields. The Sheep loved to sit by the stream and watch the water flow by. The Pig, on the other hand, loved to roll in the mud and make a mess.

Part 2: Your Exposition, But Better (15 points)
Reread your exposition draft up above.

Choose THREE of the following writer’s crafts/narrative techniques to add to your original exposition:

voice

sensory details

word choice

dialogue

flashback

foreshadowing

pacing

a colon for listing or emphasis

In the space below, type the revised version of your exposition with the THREE additional writer’s crafts/narrative techniques (please make these elements easily identifiable):

Part 3: My Reflection (15 points)
List the three writer’s crafts/ narrative techniques you added.
In 1-2 sentences, explain how this addition made your exposition better.

Example :Foreshadowing
Adding foreshadowing to my exposition created a sense of mystery about what would happen next. I repeated the word “gemstone” a few times so that my reader would know it would probably be important later.

Answer 1

Original Exposition:

The farm pig had a spirit of adventure. The pig was happy with its existence and enjoyed eating in the grazing land. The sheep, though, was always on the lookout for danger. The sheep would frequently persuade the others to come with them so that they would be secure, but they would always refuse. The Farmer was a dishonest businessman who cared for the farm's animals in order to make money. He would feed them and see to it that they grew big and strong. Life in the countryside was peaceful. The sky was a clear blue, and the fields were a vibrant green. The fields were traversed by a tiny brook, and the farm was flanked by undulating hills. The sheep enjoyed relaxing by the stream and observing the water as it ran by. The Pig, on the other hand, adored making a mess by rolling around in the mud.

Revised Exposition:

The farm's resident pig had an adventurous attitude; his nose always pointed toward uncharted territory. He delighted in the simple joys of life with each pleasant grazing in the fields. The sheep, on the other hand, had a restless spirit and was constantly looking for malicious adventures. The sheep frequently begged the others to "join me," seeking protection in numbers but finding isolation in denial.

The landscape was created in the tones of nature among the peaceful countryside. A great vary of a cerulean sky was surrounded by sprawling fields that were a luscious expanse of green velvet. The property was surrounded by hilly terrain, and a wandering streams ran through the center of the landscape, whispering mysteries. The sheep sought refuge by the banks, staring at the soft ripples that reflected its own thoughts. The pig, who showed wonderful chaos as it happily rolled around in the dirt, was enjoying its own kind of joy at the same time.

Writer's Crafts/Narrative Techniques Added:

Sensory Details: Describe the environment's colors, sensations, and noises using sensory details to elicit sensory experiences.

Dialogue: Character interaction that reveals relationships and personality qualities through words.

Word Selection: Choosing particular words and phrases to bring out the images and arouse feelings.

Reflection:

Sensory Information: Including sensory information improved the reader's ability to fully immerse themselves in the situation, making it more vivid and interesting.

Conversation: By establishing their interactions with the other characters, the conversation helped to define the pig as careless and the sheep as concerned.

Word Selection: By carefully selecting words, I was able to enhance the overall visual of the situation and paint a more complex picture of the characters and their experiences.