Question

Which sentence should be revised to improve conciseness and focus?

Responses
A Cameron registered for all of her classes during the orientation session for incoming freshmen.Cameron registered for all of her classes during the orientation session for incoming freshmen.
B In order for Tom to be ready for school the next day, completing his history essay was his top priority.In order for Tom to be ready for school the next day, completing his history essay was his top priority.
C Peter told us that he enjoys his job at the golf course because he gets to work outside all day.Peter told us that he enjoys his job at the golf course because he gets to work outside all day.
D Moving day was quickly approaching, so Allison made a list of all the items she wanted to take with her to her dorm.

Answer 1

D. Moving day was quickly approaching, so Allison made a list of all the items she wanted to take with her to her dorm.