Question

What is wrong with the following email? Be specific SUBJECT LINE: PROJECT ON SAVING THE SEALS Attention: Amy Wright: In reviewing our project on saving the seals from Florida. We have come to the conclusion we still need more information on this subject to be allowed funding for this project. Can you give me more information on where the donated funds will be directed to? These are some of the questions raised in our meeting last week with the CEO, Also will we need to send employees there for work? Will we need to fand the airfare and expenses if travel is involved? How many other companies are involved in the fund raising of "Saving the seast" We will need to set up a meeting shortly to discuss this further. I am sure have more questions, I just can't think of them now, Regards, M. Manager of Advertising & Promotions ENFIOIA

Answer 1

• The subject of the email is in all caps, which can seem like yelling.
• "In reviewing our project on saving the seals from Florida." is not an independent clause, so it would need to combine with the next sentence.
• There should be a comma after "also"
• It should say 'Saving the seals" not "Saving the seast"
• "I am sure have more questions, I just can't think of them now" is unprofessional.
• When ending an email, you should put your full name, not just one letter.