I appreciate you sharing your essay. I can give you some advice on how to strengthen your essay.
First, it would be beneficial to offer more detailed examples to back up your claim. For instance, you may discuss how various ethnic backgrounds have various standards for what makes beauty. You can also talk about how media affects how people view beauty.
In order to make your essay more well-rounded, you might also provide a counterargument. Others would argue, for instance, that beauty is something that can be judged fairly according to certain criteria. Then you might counter this argument by pointing out that different cultures have different views on what defines beauty.
Finally, you might highlight the importance of respecting people 's unique diversity in standards of beauty in your essay conclusion. You can discuss how accepting diversity can result in a society that is more inclusive and peaceful.
You can make it more fluent and professional with these tips:
1) Spell and grammar correctly. While it may seem simple, it is crucial to check your writing for errors.
2) Slang and casual language should be avoided. Instead, speak in a formal manner that suits the situation.
3) To connect your ideas and make your writing flow, use transitional words and phrases.
4) To keep your writing interesting and convincing change up your sentence pattern.
5) To make your writing more concise and clear, use active voice instead of passive voice.
6) To effectively express your ideas, use language that is clear and accurate.
Hope this helps!