Question

How can I make this essay stronger . I’m not finished .
Beauty vs difference essay

Answer 1

Answer: first off, nice handwriting. Nice essay so far. What threw me off is this sentence "Just because". Try using strong words, it's not like ur creating a conversation, instead of "just because", you could say "considering". Or you could say rephrase and say "Others might find a particular person good-looking, but it does not overall mean others will have the same thought about the person". To make ur sentences longer. Try adding a lil more to ur introduction paragraph.

Instead of saying "Is because everyone has their own opinions" in ur second paragraph. Try using different words/synonyms like "Is because everyone has their own beliefs".

avoid using "just because". Using a word repeatedly can make ur essay too plain and unimaginative It could also make your work dull to read.

Also, try wording ur reasons more when trying to explain a quote.

Nice essay so far

Step-by-step explanation:

Answer 2

Don't use the word "I" or other first person pronouns. Most English teachers hate that word in essays. If this essay is meant to be your opinion, then you dont need it, just speak every like it is a fact. That is what I have found works best for me. Maybe your teachers have had different opinions about this, but usually teachers wont want you to use first person pronouns.