Question

Needs yalls opinion again

If only he knew
( relates to me )



If only he knew
And when I look into his eyes,
I see pure beauty with no disguise.
Just a glance at him makes my heartbeat rise.
I know for a fact that these feelings aren't lies.
The second that he says hey.

he makes all the bad things go away
turning around my terrible day.
And if beauty were inches, he'd go on for miles.
I'd better catch him before I go out of style.
I'm going to let my heart be my dial
So I can tell him what I've been feeling for a while.

I always knew that love would come find me someday,
but never did I know that it would be you who was headed my way.
You caught me off guard and took me by surprise,
but you simply captivated me,
the same way you do when I look into your eyes.
We all have our flaws, but when I view you through my eyes,
perfection is all I see.


"Where your treasure is, your heart will be also" is how the saying goes.
I may not know what tomorrow may bring, for
God is the only one who knows.
I know I don't need to prove my feelings to know they're true
because what I've known in my past
doesn't come close to the experience I've shared with you.




I've had the experience of being in relationships before,
however, this is the first time I've been truly happy... I couldn't ask for anything more.


God made everything beautiful, precious and new,
just as beautiful and precious as the day will be, when I look into your eyes and say, "I Love You."


How do I describe
My love for you?
he has his own special way

These butterflies,
Shy smiles,
Late nights.
Thoughts are constantly
About you.

I can't tell you
All the times
This heart beats faster,
Even when you're out of view.

Always in my thoughts,
Always in my dreams.
A life without you would
Tear me apart at the seams.

It's you who keeps me up all night
And gets me through the day.
Take my hand and lead the way.
Pour out all your deeper thoughts.
Let your soft voice whisper swiftly into my ear,
All these lovely things I want to hear.


Kiss my lips and touch my skin,
Invoke my adrenalin,
And bring out passion deep within,
Draw me near and hold me tight.


Throw away all my sorrows and mourning,
Into the thick darkness of the night.
Claim back the long lost smile,
Back into my face at early dawn.


I've been in this custody for years,
Break the walls and enter my heart.
Untie the chains,
Hold my hand and let me out.


Release my soul held deep within...
Sometimes I wonder if what we have is too good to be true.
Too scared to get my heart broken
and scared of the thought of losing you,


From when you laugh to when you're upset,
I still love the little things you do,
especially hearing you laugh and seeing your nose wrinkle
the same way mine does.


"It isn't finding the perfect person
but learning to see an imperfect person perfectly."
It's true that every good and perfect gift is from above.
You were presented to me as a beautifully packaged gift
full of humor, talent, intelligence, beauty and love.


a treasure
in my heart that I want to devote my whole life to completely.
For now, I'll be waiting patiently for that day when we'll be together,
that precious moment
in time when I'll say, "It's you that I want to be with forever."


Love is a funny thing
We'll never understand,
But hear this truth ring:
I'm in love with you.

It seems to me that there
Is only one thing left to say.

I've said it already,
But to make sure you know it's true,
I'll say how I feel:
I'm completely in love with you.


How much my love for him grew,
Maybe, just maybe, we could start something new,
And then I'd never feel blue.

How can I explain
That this is true?

I followed my heart,
And it led me to you.
I knew from the start
That this feeling was new.


You make me smile,
And you make my heart drop.
Our love goes on for miles,
and it will never stop.


It was like a fairy tale kiss,
When our lips touched.
It'd be something to miss,
Since it was worth so much.



I'm ready now;
Take my hand,
And let love begin!

Answer 1

Line six should be the start of the second stanza. It would fit better there.

Line nine is sweet, I would change inches to meters. "And if beauty were meters, he'd go on for miles," sounds a bit better.

Line fourteen should not have the word headed be in past tense, instead change it to heading.

Line eighteen and nineteen reads;

We all have our flaws, but when I view you through my eyes,

perfection is all I see.

I would edit it to say

We all have our flaws, but I can guarantee

that when you are around, perfection is all I see.

There are small details I would changes in the forth stanza. This is only to make the words flow better when reading.

"Where your treasure is, your heart will be also" is how the saying goes.

We are not promised tomorrow, this everyone knows

I know I don't need to prove my feelings to know they're true

because my past can't compare to the experiences I've shared with you.

There are a few places throughout the poem that do not rhyme, but still sound alright. I'm not sure if the intentions were to spill your heart out with honesty and rhythm, or something else. Either way, you did great! Overall, I personally wouldn't change anything else. It is heartfelt and loving, as well as being reassuring and comforting in a way.

You did amazing! I hope you have a lovely day/night!