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Hey can someone please check if my essay has a good introduction? Like is the thesis strong enough, any changing suggestions, add other information, any way that it has good transitions/flows good etc? and please explain.

Hey can someone please check if my essay has a good introduction? Like is the thesis-example-1
User Liam G
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1 Answer

2 votes

it is really good! i wouldn't say "totally collapsed" instead i would say "completely collapsed" but rather you keep it or not its really good also "become corrupt" should be "becomes corrupt" or "becomes corrupted"

User Kotekzot
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