200k views
0 votes
Correct grammar and punctuation?

Correct grammar and punctuation?-example-1

1 Answer

2 votes

The corrected version:

"Principal of Somerville House and Curator of Powerful Stories"....

I chose Somerville House because of you and the positive memories and impact that you had on the daughter of close family friends of my parents, who I would often babysit growing up, and now she is one of the very few I call my closest friends.

To protect her privacy, given that still to this day recalls you crying with her in your office at St Hilda's and has many fond memories of moments that will stay with her forever. I wanted my daughter to feel that same sense of safety.

Instead, however, my daughter is left with a "Powerful Story" far removed from anything remotely resembling a feeling of safety and more unprotected, helpless, hurt, unsafe, threatened, vulnerable, unprotected and questioning what she did wrong to deserve this.

Whilst my sons receive exemplary education (minimum standard?) and strive toward academic and sporting excellence with unequivocal support, guidance and compassion, holding them to a high standard and molding them into great men....... you have failed my daughter and represent everything that is hypocritical and opposite to the projected image and statements of claim.

I was in a meeting with your Junior school department heads and after an emotional afternoon my daughter and I departed with the final school bell. The Junior school staff of course did not want or have the ability to receive and hold onto 10k cash, and thus I asked to be pointed toward the general direction to navigate my way through the school grounds and make payment on the following school day. Sadly, this opportunity was interrupted with the notification of enrollment termination.

Quite extreme given that I had only received a statement of account a few weeks prior and had briefly spoken to admin of how I would be paying, in a haze of embarrassment. And In a year of Covid delayed start dates, homeschooling and multiple flooding episodes impacting and changing our way of life and how things would previously be handled.

Here we are, now 8 weeks on, and please tell me how effective the decision to terminate my daughter's enrollment has been of benefit to solving the issue at hand??

There is only one victim here, and that is my daughter.

As I write this, I am still in possession of 10k cash withdrawn June 9th, 2022 and Somerville House still has a balance sheet with monies outstanding. 8 weeks and counting of unnecessary heartache, pain and suffering bestowed upon my 9-year-old daughter, not to mention non-existent education, for absolutely zero benefit.

And not once prior to termination of enrollment was there a single solitary offer to meet and discuss, nor has there been any contact since to meet and resolve or a single reply to my request to meet and resolve.

User MBober
by
8.2k points