Question

Read the following text from a student essay. How can the writer best improve his or her sentence fluency?

Our school should not stop requiring students to wear uniforms. Allowing children to wear whatever they want is a terrible idea. Students won't be as focused on learning. They will be thinking about their clothing and comparing themselves to their friends. Their families will have to spend more money on clothing. School uniforms are easier for students. Students can focus on their schoolwork instead of worrying about their clothing. No one will be singled out for what they wear since everyone wears the same thing.

Answer 1

To improve the sentence fluency in the student essay, varying sentence structures, employing transitional phrases, and using both compound and complex sentences can create a natural, engaging flow. Active voice and a focus on readability also contribute to sentence fluency.

Step-by-step explanation:

To improve sentence fluency in the student essay, the writer should consider varying the types and lengths of sentences to enhance readability and flow. Currently, the sentences are quite homogeneous, leading to a monotonous rhythm. By combining related sentences, using transitional phrases, and implementing compound and complex sentences, the writer can create a more engaging and dynamic paragraph. Additionally, active voice can make the writing more direct and lively.

Here is a revised version of the paragraph with improved fluency:

"Our school's uniform policy should remain in place because it encourages a focus on learning rather than fashion. Students spared from the pressure of choosing daily attire can concentrate on academics without the distraction of competing in clothing trends. Moreover, uniforms are a cost-effective solution, easing the financial burden on families. The uniformity promotes equality, ensuring no student feels marginalized due to their wardrobe choices."