Final answer:
Tom exhibits a caring and tender attitude towards his mistress, protective of her individuality and sensitive to her emotions, but also experiences intense passion and turmoil, indicative of a complex and emotionally charged relationship.
Step-by-step explanation:
The attitude that Tom has towards his mistress is a complex mixture of passion, tenderness, and concern for her well-being. Tom is clearly invested in the relationship, affected by it emotionally, and desires to protect the individuality and the 'apartness' of his mistress.
His inclination is not to dominate, but rather to appreciate and nurture her uniqueness, indicating a caring nature. This is evident from his anguish about pulling her back into his own issues and his understanding of her openness and susceptibility to anguish.
However, a closer look at the text also reveals the tumultuous and at times aggressive side to Tom's relationship with Judy Jones. She has brought him both ecstatic happiness and intolerable agony, suggesting a relationship fraught with highs and lows.
Judy's treatment of Tom alternates between engagement and disregard, invoking responses from Tom that range from bitterness to passion, indicating a roller-coaster dynamic driven by strong emotions on both sides.