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28 votes
28 votes
Is this a good story for my assignment? any grammar corrections? any constructive criticism

Is this a good story for my assignment? any grammar corrections? any constructive-example-1
User Kimar
by
2.6k points

1 Answer

17 votes
17 votes

Answer:

It looks like an good story, but there are some things that need correcting.

Step-by-step explanation:

Ideas and Connections:

Ok, first of all, your subheading doesn't correlate with your passage. The subheading is supposed to serve as an indictor of what the follow paragraph(s) will be. This mat be part of the assignment that you are creating, so I may be wrong.

And for your superpower quirk, I actually like the creative idea. However, I feel like it needs more elaborating. Like tell me more about how this power will help you be a good student or something like this.

Grammar:

As for your grammar, there are multiple grammar mistakes here and there.

  • In the fourth sentence, remove the parathesis and capitalize the names of your friends. Also add a period in the same sentence.
  • You could separate the fifth sentence in two independent ones.
  • In the last sentence, remove the comma after the "are".
  • In the second last sentence, rephrase your sentence to be connected instead of sounding like two different ones.

I would normally do more, but I don't have time. But I like your story, and I hope you do well on your assignment! :)

User Lucas Arbex
by
3.1k points