Final answer:
John Gottman defines defensiveness as seeing oneself as a victim and often involves blaming others or denying responsibility during conflicts, which hinders effective communication and resolution.
Step-by-step explanation:
John Gottman, a renowned psychologist and relationship expert, defines defensiveness as a way of seeing oneself as a victim during conflict and involves a tendency to blame the other person or deny responsibility. This behavior is often a response to perceived attack and is a form of self-protection. In Gottman’s view, it is one of the 'Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse' for relationships, which are detrimental behaviors that can predict relationship breakdown if left unchecked.
Examples of defensiveness in action include deflecting criticism back onto the partner, denying any wrongdoing, or making excuses. This prevents healthy communication and conflict resolution because it shuts down any possibility of discussing the issue at hand. Instead of acknowledging one's role in the conflict and seeking to understand the other person's perspective, defensive individuals remain focused on justifying their own behavior.