Final answer:
The sentence needing revision is "… especially when you contrast it with a standard set for little boys," because it uses second-person 'you' in an academic essay, which is formally inappropriate. It should be rewritten for neutrality and adherence to formal academic style. The correct answer is option B.
Step-by-step explanation:
The sentence that should be revised is "… especially when you contrast it with a standard set for little boys." The revision is needed because the writer used second-person perspective (you) in an academic essay, which is usually inappropriate due to the expectation of a more formal writing style. Academic writing typically avoids second-person references to maintain formality and an objective tone.
To adhere to the editing focus of subject-verb agreement as discussed in Section 6.6, the essay should demonstrate a clear understanding of grammar rules. Additionally, in the spirit of rhetorical effectiveness, the writer should strive to meet or challenge conventional expectations by ensuring that the language is clear, precise, and considerate of inclusivity. In this case, switching from 'you' to a more neutral third-person expression or a passive construction would be rhetorically more effective and conform to academic standards.