Question

Hi,

I'm writing an argumentative essay on why more american doctor should help with the uprising sickness and cardiovascular diseases and the poverty. Could someone read my intro and go over it
Thanks :)

Why is it that South Sudan and many other country's do not have proper medical care? Should more american doctors be taking action on the rising sicknesses and
cardiovascular diseases? But could this be endangering the lives of the american doctors or should we help face the uprising challenges that many south Sudanese people face unlike you and I? But unfortunately they don't have access to clean water, proper nutrition, and medical care. More doctors should help support the people of Sudan and many other country's. But with the help we could save the lives of children and adults

Answer 1

hey. It is pretty good but I don't know what's the relation of Sudan and American doctors . But I think your structure is Kind a Off at the end parts. Well, I am Not A Expert but this is just my view. Thank you