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I regret to inform you that you were not selected for our summer intern program at Equifax

1 Answer

1 vote

Strengths include clear communication and expressing confidence. Weaknesses involve lack of personalization, lengthy explanations, and minor grammatical errors. Improvements in clarity and brevity would enhance the overall impact of the message.

Strengths:

1. Clarity in Communication: The message is straightforward in conveying the outcome of the application – that the recipient was not selected for the summer intern program.

2. Providing Context: The second sentence offers some insight into the selection process, mentioning the high volume of applications and the prioritization of those who applied early and were qualified. This helps manage expectations.

3. Expressing Confidence and Good Wishes: The message ends on a positive note by expressing confidence in the recipient's ability to find a suitable position and offering best wishes. This demonstrates a level of empathy.

Weaknesses:

1. Lack of Personalization: The message appears somewhat generic and lacks personalization. It would have been more impactful if the applicant's name and specific qualifications were mentioned.

2. Lengthy Explanation: While providing context can be beneficial, the second sentence is somewhat lengthy and might be perceived as an excuse. A more concise explanation could maintain clarity without appearing as though the sender is making excuses.

3. Grammar and Punctuation: The sentence "We have been asked to notify everyone that we have already selected students for the 25 positions based on those that applied early and were qualified" could be clearer. A more straightforward construction would enhance readability.

4. Redundancy: The phrase "We deeply regret any inconvenience associated with our reply" is somewhat redundant, as the regret has already been expressed at the beginning of the message.

5. Minor Typographical Error: In the closing sentence, "best of the luck" should be corrected to "best of luck."

Overall, while the message is generally clear and attempts to convey regret empathetically, it could benefit from more personalized and concise language, avoiding excessive explanations.

The complete question is:
Read the following message, and analyze the strengths and weaknesses of each sentence. I regret to inform you that you were not selected for our summer intern program at Equifax. We had over 1,000 resumes and cover letters to go through, and simply get to them all. We have been asked to notify everyone that we have already selected students for the 25 positions based on those that applied early and were qualified. We're sure you will be able to find a suitable position for summer work in your field and wish you the best of the luck. We deeply regret any inconvenience associated with our reply.

User Srivatsan
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