Question

Highlight the word or phrase that makes the thesis statement wordy.

the sucess of harry's as a seeker depends more on his teamate skills than his own

Answer 1

The wordy phrase in the provided thesis statement is 'depends more on,' which can be made more concise by changing it to 'relies on' or 'is more reliant on,' maintaining the original meaning.

Step-by-step explanation:

To improve the provided thesis statement's conciseness, you would need to identify and eliminate unnecessary words that make it wordy. In the statement, 'the success of Harry's as a seeker depends more on his teammate skills than his own', the phrase 'depends more on' could be seen as wordy. A more concise way to phrase this could be 'is more reliant on' or simply 'relies on'. This change maintains the original meaning while reducing the number of words and improving the statement's directness.