Final answer:
The provided texts do not clearly depict an event where the narrator's husband influences other men to fight or use diplomacy with the Red Coats, instead showing women's perspectives on their loved ones going to war.
Step-by-step explanation:
The interaction between the narrator's husband and other men in the provided contexts does not detail a specific event leading to a decision to fight or engage in diplomacy with the Red Coats. Instead, the references suggest varying degrees of women's experiences and reactions to their men going off to war during the American Revolution. While characters show concern, inquiry, and covert activism, there is no specific evidence pointing to an event where the husband directly influences other men to make a decision regarding fighting or staying home.