Question

Highlight the word or phrase that makes the thesis statement wordy.

Although meant to ensure student safety and security, school
metal detectors destroy academic culture.
Submit answer
Report a problem

Answer 1

The wordy phrase in the thesis statement is Although meant to ensure student safety and security. It is redundant because the thesis statement is already about the negative impact of school metal detectors on academic culture. The phrase could be removed without any loss of meaning.

Here is a revised thesis statement:

School metal detectors destroy academic culture.

This thesis statement is more concise and to the point. It also makes a stronger statement about the negative impact of school metal detectors.