Answer: This essay is a good start, but it could use some improvements to make the argument more clear and concise. The use of "I can agree because" is informal and weakens the argument. The argument about domesticated animals is not relevant to the topic of wild animals in zoos and should be removed.
Consider also providing specific examples and evidence to support the idea that zoos negatively impact animal lives, as well as considering the arguments in favor of zoos and addressing them in a fair and balanced way. Additionally, consider organizing the points into clear and distinct paragraphs to improve the overall structure of the essay.