Question

Our hiking group assembled at the trailhead at 6:00 A.M. We hoped to reach Rainbow Falls in time for lunch. Samantha, Kim, and I sipped orange juice. Justin jogged in place, attempting to jolt himself awake. ,begin underline,The trail stretched out before us. The trail was nine grueling miles long.,end underline,

Question
Neil wants to revise the underlined section to vary his sentence structure ,begin emphasis,and,end emphasis, improve the overall effect of the section.

Which revision would be the ,begin emphasis,best,end emphasis, choice to achieve these goals?

Answer 1

Neil should utilize descriptive language and metaphors to revise the section for enhanced sentence structure and effect, turning the simple description into a more vivid and engaging narrative.

Step-by-step explanation:

To revise the underlined section and achieve the goals of varied sentence structure and improved overall effect, Neil could transform the simple statements into a more descriptive and engaging sentence. Drawing inspiration from the provided excerpts, where sensory details and action deeply immerse the reader in the scene, Neil might rewrite the underlined section as:

'Before us, the trail uncoiled, a nine-mile serpent of challenges, snaking through the rugged terrain towards Rainbow Falls.'

This revision introduces a metaphor for the trail, describing it not just as long, but as a 'serpent of challenges', which adds an element of personification, making the trail seem alive and the hike more daunting and adventurous.

Answer 2

A. The trail before us lay nine grueling miles long.
B. Nine grueling miles of trail awaited us.
C. Ahead of us was the trail, stretching out for nine grueling miles.
D. Nine miles of grueling trail lay ahead of us