Question

Rewrite the following paragraph with the goal of reducing unnecessary wordiness.

     In my opinion, our country will be served much better than it is being served now if we had a President in office who was much more concerned with the welfare of the common people than with the welfare of big corporations. I think that the President is so concerned about getting elected back into office for his next term that he has to focus too much energy on raising money for his next campaign. To get that money, he has to rely on big contributions from big corporations that contribute a lot of money to campaigns. These corporations expect something in return for these contributions, so they only give it to him if they think he is going to reward them with laws and policies that are good for them. What is good for them is not usually good for the common people in this country, so I believe we need to do something so that this changes.

Answer 1

In my opinion, our country will be served much better than it is now if we had a President in office who was much more concerned with the welfare of the common people than with the welfare of big corporations. I think that the President is so concerned about getting elected for his next term that he has to focus too much energy on raising money for his next campaign. To get that money, he has to rely on big contributions from big corporations. These corporations expect something in return, so they only give it to him if they think he is going to reward them with laws and policies that are good for them which is not usually good for the common people in this country, so I believe we need to do something so that this changes.

Answer 2

I think our country will be served much better than now if we had a President concerning with the welfare of the common people rather than of big corporations. In my opinion, the President is too concerned about getting elected for the next term and he has to focus on much energy and money for his campaign. To get that money, he has to rely on big contributions from big corporations for his campaign. These corporations expect something in return like rewards with laws and politics beneficial for them. What is good for them is not usually good for the common people,so I believe we need to do something to change the situation.