Question

Help!!!!!!!

In the following paragraph, the writer has used only simple sentences. Read the paragraph carefully out loud:

My Hero

My Gran is my hero. She is brilliant. She loves to read. She is easily bored. As a young girl, she struggled a great deal. She left home at 21. She moved to the West Coast. There, she chose to educate herself. She chose studies over security. She lived in poverty for many years. She eventually got a job teaching at university. She married late in life. She had a beautiful family. She never stopped learning. She died with a burning curiosity about life.

Rewrite the paragraph above. See if you can reorganize and restructure the sentences in a better way.

Your paragraph should be long enough to show that you have mastered the sentence organization lessons in this section. Your teacher will grade the paragraph based upon the organizational flow, the effective use of subordinate clauses to make effective connections between ideas, and the effective use of prepositional phrases.

Answer 1

My Gran is my hero. She is brilliant and loves to read. She also gets bored easily. As a young girl, she struggled a great deal. Because of this she ran away at the age of 21 and moved to the west coast. When she got there she chose to educate herself. She chose studies over security, as well as living in poverty. She ended up getting a job teaching at a university. She ended up marrying and having a beautiful family. Because she never stopped learning, she died with a burning curiosity about her life.