Question

Identify the following statements as non-assertive, assertive, or aggressive. Once you have done that, re-write the sentences in the other two forms. For example, if you identify the statement as aggressive, write it as non-assertive and assertive. 1. You never return my phone calls. 2. I am not sure when I can meet. I'm pretty busy. 3. If we take the two o'clock train, we can get to the theater in time to have dinner before the show. 4. The last designer I worked with got everything wrong, so I hope that you are better. 5. I don't really have a favorite color, so whatever you want is fine.

Answer 1

You never return my phone calls- aggressive

Assertive- It seems to be difficult to get a hold of you, could you please return my calls.

Non- assertive- Perhaps you could call me back, if you're not too busy of course.

I am not sure when I can meet. I’m pretty busy. - assertive

Aggressive- What do you want?! I’m super busy and don’t have time for this.

Non- assertive- I have some stuff to get done, but I guess I can make time whenever it works best for you.

If we take the two o’clock train, we can get to the theater in time to have dinner before the show. -assertive

Aggressive- Could you be any slower?! You need to hurry up or we won’t have time for dinner!

Non-assertive- Well there’s a 2 o’clock train we can take, if you don’t want to that’s fine, I was just thinking we could grab dinner if you wanted.

The last designer I worked with got everything wrong, so I hope you are better.-aggressive

Assertive- The last designer and I had some communication issues. I will try my best to communicate clearly.

Non- assertive- The last designer didn’t work out too well for me, it was probably my fault. I will try my best to help you out and understand.

I don’t really have a favorite color, so whatever you want is fine.- non assertive.

Aggressive- It has to be purple! If it isn’t purple there will be issues!

Assertive- My favorite color is purple, so I was thinking we could do something in that direction.

Answer 2

1) Aggressive. Could also be assertive, but a statement beginning with "you never" can be interpreted as judgmental and final, rather than opening to a dialogue.
Rewrite:
Assertive: I feel like it's difficult to get in touch with you, and I'd appreciate it if you returned my calls.
Non-assertive: Maybe you could call me back once in a while, if you're not too busy.

2)Assertive: A direct and honest communication.
Rewrite:
Aggressive: Stop bugging me! I don't know when I can meet and I'm too busy to talk!
Non-assertive: I'm kind of busy but I guess whenever you want to meet, I can make it work.

3) Assertive: A direct and respectful proposal. The fact that it's worded in the hypothetical means it could be considered non-assertive, but we will say assertive.
Rewrite:
Aggressive: Hurry up! We're gonna miss the two o'clock train and then we'll never make it in time for dinner! I want a divorce!
Non-assertive: We could take the 2 o'clock train, or not. Whatever you guys want to do, I'm just thinking about dinner.

4) Aggressive. This is a mean and judgmental statement, and immediately establishes an aggressive-passive dynamic between the speaker and whoever he or she is talking to.
Rewrite:
Assertive: I will do my best to communicate my instructions clearly. I had issues with my last designer in that regard.
Non-assertive- The last designer and I had some problems, probably because I gave bad instructions. I hope things go better this time.

5)Non-assertive. Does not assert one's preferences or desires, and defers to others to make a decision.
Rewrite:
Aggressive: I like yellow! It must be yellow! It will be yellow!
Assertive: Do you want to go with yellow? That's personally my favorite color.