Question

What should I change in this poem?

It's called Missing Identity

When I see my true loves face
I always think I'm hallucinating
I smiled and I waved but he doesn't even look my way
I said Hi.
But he acted like I wasn't even there!
When I went home in despair

I looked at my self in the mirror.
I saw half of my face
But the other half was blurry and then disappeared
I looked away
I couldn't bear the fact
I looked in the mirror
But I still saw only half of my face
I don't know who I am
I don't know who I am
Do you I have an Identity
What do I have to live for?

Who am I
Who am I to even look at such a beautiful face like his?
Who am I to even talk to him?
I have to find my missing identity.
I need to find who I am.
I me to find out why I'm living
I need to find my fate

What is my identity?
Can you help me find it?
I need to get the other half of my soul.
What is my identity?
What is my fate?
Who will be my destined love
That will love me forever.

Answer 1

The poem is beautiful, there are some things that you need to fix like the first verse . You could say "I smile , I wave still knowing that he will not recognize that I'm there" , I love the last verse it's beautiful and captivating. The title is perfect it reflects what's happening. The poem shows someone who is in love and maybe because of that she/he lost her true identity and I really like that. In my opinion the poem is beautiful!.

Answer 2

I think it's great. I didn't see anything that needs to be changed. I like the last stanza, it reminds me of Twenty One Pilots.