Question

Read Fatima’s paragraph. Having moved up north just last year, I experienced my first snowstorm this past winter. At first, the snow twirled gently, lightly dusting the street, cars, and trees with snowy frosting. Then, the snow became a curtain, blinding my view so that I felt cocooned from the outside world. When the snow stopped, ice coated the trees and branches clacked like chattering teeth. Which sentence will Fatima’s teacher most likely ask her to revise? Having moved up north just last year, I experienced my first snowstorm this past winter. At first, the snow twirled gently, lightly dusting the street, cars, and trees with snowy frosting. Then, the snow became a curtain, blinding my view so that I felt cocooned from the outside world. When the snow stopped, ice coated the trees and branches clacked like chattering teeth.

Answer 1

I would think the teacher would ask her to revise:

"Having moved up north just last year, I experienced my first snowstorm this past winter."

This sentence repeats an idea twice.

'Moved up north just last year' 'my first snowstorm this past winter'.

We already know that she moved up north last year, so, by reading the rest of the passage you would know that she experienced her first snowstorm. You could revise it to sound like this:

"Having moved up north just last year, I experienced my first snowstorm." <== this doesn't sound as much of a run-on, and it makes it simple and more clear.

Everything else sounds really nice and well-thought out.

I hope this helps!
~kaikers

Answer 2

A. Having moved up north just last year, I experienced my first snowstorm this past winter.

Step-by-step explanation:

Just took the quiz and got it right