Talya can improve her introduction by properly citing her source.
As you can see in the excerpt above, Talya quoted someone, but she didn't cite where she took that quote from. She just said 'according to one source,' which is unacceptable in formal, academic writing. The way she wrote that, it is plagiarism because she didn't state the original author of that quote. So in order to avoid that, and to make her introduction even better, she should cite the original author of that particular sentence.