Answer:
The revision that would most likely improve this paragraph is:
* the elimination of passive language
Step-by-step explanation:
The question is not complete since it does not provide the options to answer it, here are the options:
* a better explanation of the target audience
* the elimination of passive language
* more specific details from the ad
* a comprehensive topic sentence
This paragraph seems to have the objective of giving a direct and clear opinion and approvement of the ad the author is analyzing, the best way to accomplish this goal is to use active sentences to convey the message simply instead of using the passive voice which because of its grammatical structure will make the information harder to understand.