"Why decieve myself? Isnt it obvious to everyone but me that im dying, and that its only a question of weeks, days... it may happen this moment." We can tell this because hes saying that he can die anytime soon.
To me it seems that the choices below symbolize the future death. I'm not a expert, but these seemed to stick out to me.:
"There was light and now there is darkness"
"Staring with wide-open eyes into the darkness."
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