Question

So I'm writing an essay and I would like someone to proof read and edit it. The intoduction is suppised to be grabbing, but im not aure if i made it too long.

Answer 1

I wouldn't repeat sudden.

I would take out was, it isn't needed because you explained your actions in the previse sentence

found instead of find

However, you hear the noise a second time. Louder than the first.

That's a start. I would look up how to write a correct MLA style paper