Question

Can someone revise my writing?

we did a 5 minute quick write in class and i feel like i liked the idea, but it's scattered a lot.


trust is the fundamental right that everyone should feel.
the right of knowing that you are safe. that you are whole.
but how can we feel safe when family is not family anymore?
when friends are not true friends?
when siblings have up and left and when loved ones no longer want to love?
how can we feel safe on this planet when there is no one to latch on to?
no one to hold.
no one to call home.
and no where to run.
how can we love when we have been taught what love is not?
how can we even know who we are when we are taught what to be?
how can we fight when we have been taught that being broken down is fit to the standards of our society?
how can we make it through this life if we don’t even know how to live?
some say love is the most powerful emotion.
some even say fear.
but some argue that trust is the most heart-felt emotion.
but how can this be when trust is so easily tossed out the window?
family tosses it out.
friends toss it out.
society tosses it out.
because trust is damageable, easily fractured, and the most delicate, fragile emotion to be messed with.
this life is not ours if we cannot feel trust with our most endeared ones.
our life is a game and we are mere chess pieces.

Answer 1

Capitalize trust and make sure to add a comma after safe instead of a period, jsut check your capitalization and your commas and periods, i'm pretty sure the rest is right. Hope this helps you out.