Question

Could someone offer an honest opinion of the beginning of this sci-fi short story I'm writing?

She squeezed the small hand. “Calm down.” she hissed, the wooden planks trembling below her feet. The boy paused, then continued to jump. “Do you want to go back down?” she asked, a hint of warning in her voice. “Nooo!” he exclaimed, planting his feet on the floor. “I stopped, see?”
“Good.”
“I stopped.”
“Shhh. I think it’s going to start.”
“Welcome!” A woman’s voice sounded from behind them. They turned to see a woman dressed in a brilliant, wine-red trench coat with well-polished, intricate gold buttons. A flamboyant black tricorn hat with a wide white plume rested on beautiful black hair which ran in great waves over her shoulders. She gestured towards the ceiling. “Shall we begin?” The boy nodded eagerly, a ridiculously wide smile stretching over his face. The woman answered with a smile and raised her foot. BAM.

Answer 1

Honest Opinion

Well, honestly, I kinda liked it, but if you were to ever publish a book like this, it might be best if you use superior words if you know what I mean and when you put "BAM" at the end of it, that might not be a good asset to your story. I've wrote a lot of books when I was younger and I have been told the exact same things that I am telling you now. Other than that, your book it astounding and I hope you keep up the good work. :)