Went to aspen. Was snowboarding.
I farted. While snowboarding. Smelled bad. 3 minutes later. Still snowboarding, smell still there. Realized then. I hadn’t farted. I sharted. Proceeded to crash. Laying on snow, couldn’t move. People started helping me, paramedics. Heard grumbles and whispers coming from hose helping. LWhats that smell”. “Oh god! Did he??”. Helpers started backing away. Nobody wanted to lift me into ambulance. Laid there by self for two days. Bear ate me.