To make the claim in the introduction stronger and more effective the writer should provide a clear viewpoint because this paragraph is confusing for the reader. The reason for this is that the paragraph starts claiming that robots can make our lives easier because they can assume more "human" roles and so leave us more free time in order to do things that we love but then it ends by stating that there are also disadvantages to this evolution. Consequently, it is not clear for the reader if the writer is in favor or against this evolution.
Making the language more informal wouldn't help because it wouldn't guarantee a clearer point of view. Moreover, offering an alternative solution doesn't seem to be the topic of this paragraph. Finally, a reference to the counterclaim as well as addressing it would be more appropriate to do in another paragraph.