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4 votes
Read the sentence.

I told them how surprised and excited I was to have my painting selected, especially since I’d felt so incompetent at the beginning and I knew the competition was so ruthless.

Which revision best uses dialogue to improve the sentence?

“Yup, it was a big surprise,” I told them. “I’m excited that my painting was selected! Especially since I felt so incompetent at the beginning and the competition was so ruthless.”

“Honestly, I was surprised,” I told them truthfully. “The competition was ruthless, and I felt incompetent at the beginning. It’s really exciting to have my painting selected!”

“I’m in! My painting is in! I feel a fist pump and a little dance coming on,” I said, grinning. I thought about how I felt so incompetent at the beginning because of the ruthless competition.

“Did you hear?” I asked them. “My painting got selected! Exciting, right?” I smiled. “Especially given that I felt so incompetent at the beginning and that the competition was ruthless!”

please help asap

2 Answers

3 votes

The improvements with the dialogue added help so that people can understand how the characters feels what happened and what is happening at the moment.

User Mank
by
7.0k points
2 votes

“I’m in! My painting is in! I feel a fist pump and a little dance coming on,” I said, grinning. I thought about how I felt so incompetent at the beginning because of the ruthless competition.

User Jayaprakash G
by
6.8k points