149k views
2 votes
Going on this vacation to Paris, France, is my dream come true. For as long as I can remember, I have wanted to see the Eiffel Tower. Also, I would love to visit the museums. If there is time, it could also be fun to dine in the cafes.

User Shiham
by
8.2k points

1 Answer

4 votes
A few issues...at the end,the last sentence, you use a passive perspective, where as the rest is more assertive...you should keep it one or the other. Your 3rd sentence has a future tense sound whereas the rest is present tense...make sure that is also present tense
User Thebiggestlebowski
by
7.7k points
Welcome to QAmmunity.org, where you can ask questions and receive answers from other members of our community.