How to Survive a Zombie Apocalypse
A zombie apocalypse is most definitely not a very friendly world. It is hard to find friends who aren’t going to s_h_o_o_t you on sight, and if you do find somebody, a thorough body inspection is in for the both of you. So what should you do, if the situation ever arises? I will explain to you the Do’s and Do not’s of a zombie apocalypse.
First things first; get a weapon. If you can find a g_u_n, GREAT. Just know this; k_n_i_v_e_s don’t need a_m_m_o. If you get a g_u_n, Take care of it. Don’t give it the wrong b_u_l_l_e_t_s, or your precious g_u_n won’t last you very long. If you can’t find a g_u_n, this part is for you. First, describe your strengths and weaknesses. Are you smart or s_t_u_p_i_d? Are you strong or weak? Clock radios usually take batteries. Make sure you get the lithium kind. Now get some headphones, the most expensive kind you can find. Head back up to the roof. Once you are up there, set an alarm on one of the clocks for about 5 o clock in the Morning. Now plug your headphones into the radio, and go to bed. Make sure all entrances and exits are fortified with whatever you can find animal food bags like the ones for dogs that are huge and heavy or chairs and well you get the point right just block the entrances from the inside (JUST incase- Sir captain obvious). Once you wake up from your clock alarm, you just have to survive. Make sure and double sure (and triple sure, for good measure) that you have ALL exits and entrances fortified. Anything you got set it up. Zombies below are basically just target practice. After a hefty day of zombie k_i_l_l_i_n_g, you are going to want to clean it. There is usually a manual that comes with your gun on directions for field stripping. If you can’t find any, then you should learn quickly, or your g_u_n will jam a lot and become unreliable. Remember; always be on the lookout for survivors. If they are bitten, k_i_l_l them. If you are bitten, it’s really up to you. If you are with others, however, k_i_l_l yourself. Don’t want to get risk k_i_l_l_i_n_g your friends. If zombies become smart, be alert at all times.
-AND MOST IMPORTANTLY REMEMBER THAT DONT LET YOUR FRIENDS SEE THIS THEY WILL THINK YOU ARE COMPLETELY CRAZY....you are tho seriously what do you need this for??