valence electrons are electrons found in the outer shell of an atom. these are electrons that participate in CHEMICAL BONDING. an atom will either give up its valence electrons, gain valence electrons from another atom, or share valence electrons with another atom.
these are the only types of electrons that participate in chemical bonding - since they live in the outer most shell of an electron. no other electrons in an atom can bond. that's why these electrons have their own name.
an atom will do whatever it can to reach its full octet of valence electrons. that that means is that an atom is most stable when it has 8 electrons in its outer shell (it's the most stable and strong that way); hence the name OCTET.
i hope this helps!