42.5k views
5 votes
Read the paragraph.(1) Beekeepers began reporting devastating bee losses beginning in 2006—sometimes as much as 90 percent of their hives! (2) Most of the bees were gone. (3) This phenomenon is called Colony Collapse Disorder, or CCD. (4) Scientists remain unsure of what causes CCD, but they know that it has happened before. (5) Reports of disappearing bees date from the 1800s. Which revision would make the paragraph more precise?

A. Sentence 2: Change “were gone” to “had simply vanished.”
B. Sentence 3: Change “phenomenon” to “thing.”
C. Sentence 4: Change “remain” to “continue to be.”
D. Sentence 5: Change “date from” to “come from as far back as.”

2 Answers

5 votes

Answer:

A

Step-by-step explanation:

User Arthur Tarasov
by
4.9k points
4 votes

Answer:

A. Sentence 2: Change "were gone" to "had simply vanished"

Step-by-step explanation:

By changing the sentence (2) "Most of the bees were gone" into "Most of the bees had simply vanished", we will get a more definite reason for the disappearance of the bees. Using "had gone" is just not too much emphasis on the occurrence and the gravity of the situation, while "had simply vanished' would have more stronger sentence hold on the reader.

User Eliana
by
5.0k points