Question

Read the two paragraphs representing a first draft and a revision of a narrative about making a difficult choice.First Draft: I will never forget the day I got my dog at the animal shelter. I felt terrible for the dogs and cats behind the glass. I saw Bandit right away. He was a small brown and black terrier mix who came right to me as the shelter employee opened the door to his cage.Revision: I will never forget the day I rescued my dog from the animal shelter. My heart broke for the dogs and cats behind the glass. I spotted Bandit right away. He was a small brown and black terrier mix who bounded into my arms as the shelter volunteer released him from his cage.What types of descriptive language strengthen the revision?

Answer 1

strong verbs and hyperbole

Step-by-step explanation:

this was the answer on edginity.

Answer 2

Active voice and better descriptive verbs were used to strengthen the descriptive language.

Step-by-step explanation:

Passive voice, using helping verbs, was used in the first draft. By using active voice (action verbs) in a more descriptive manner, the revision was much more moving, descriptive, appealing, and interesting. For example, "felt terrible" was changed to "heart broke", and "saw" was changed to "spotted".