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5 votes
Will someone edit my paper for me im not good at edditing

School, We all have to go through it but does it mean it helps everyone? Learning can be different for all people some people only need a little to go a long way but some neet a lot to get far it all depends on the person. Learning is necessary for everyone but the extent is what matters. Not everyone has a good time learning because of this anxiety and depression, which can lead to suicide, are more prone to these learners, we need to understand not everyone is a farmer some, like me, are hunters.

The farmer and hunter are a way of looking at learning. The farmer can learn from slow easy process at the end getting a big reward, this reward being graduation. Hunters are different however , being a hunter means you get instant rewards hunters may take time to learn from a mistake but it never takes more than a couple times. Hunters don't look for the big rewards like graduation, sure they want that but getting there is what takes a hunter forever. Hunters don't like being told how to learn something they look for there own way. Farmers usually lack independence and determination unlike hunters who have those qualities . For hunters small prizes are where they get motivation from. School systems are made for farmers and make hunters conform to the mindset of a farmer causing them to feel outcasted and sad which is not a positive. Hunters are good at masking emotion because they don't like letting people down. However there can be a mix of both we see this in people who may struggle just a bit in school. Hunters are usually what we see as CEO’s and bosses of businesses. Farmers are more likely to follow a hunter because every hunter has rules they learn by so farmers understand these rules. Farmers are less likely to make there own rules because they don't have independence but that doesn't mean they cant.

Not everyone learns the same way and understanding you can't force someone to learn a specific way is the key to helping many kids learning is necessary to set us up for the real world but the real world isn't forcing you to do something you can't. Learning is positive on its own but how we make you learn can be extremely negative to those who are hunters i hope to change the system and aid to those who need something different to learn. So why try to stop suicide if we don't stop making them stressed and lessen the chance of causing anxiety and depression first. What good is helping if the problem is in the system, not in the person.

User Mad Marvin
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1 Answer

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in the third paragraph I think you should change your first sentence to "Not everyone learns the same way. Understanding you cant force someone to learn a specific way is the key to helping many kids. Learning is necessary to set us up for the real world, but the real world isent forcing you to do something you cant. " I think having a shorter topic sentence makes it easier to understand. You do not have to agree with my constructive critism, but I think listening to it will make your writing better
User Mrpbennett
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