“You-language” refers to a type of language which tends to cast blame on the other person. In such type of language, the receiver may hear your message as criticism, which may promote defensiveness in the receiver.
In contrast, “I-language” is a type of language in which, rather than simply reproach blame, it is taken the responsibility for the impact that the other person's behavior has on you. In an effective “I-language” it is important to remember:
1. Describing the other person’s behavior using very specific and objective language.
2. Sharing your thoughts and feelings that occur when you experience the behavior.
3. Taking responsibility for your thoughts and feelings.
4. Sharing the consequences the other person’s behavior has for you.
In this sense, the change from the provided "You-language" statements into "I-language" statements could be as follow:
1. You-Language: You make me frustrated when you forget to take out the trash.
I- Language: I feel frustrated when you forget to take out the trash.
2. You-Language: Dad, you embarrass me when you tell jokes to my friends.
I- Language: I feel embarrassed when you tell jokes to my friends.
3. You-Language: When you are late, you make me wonder if I should trust you with more responsibilities.
I-Language: When you are late, I have doubts about whether or not trusting you with more responsibilities.
4. You-Language: When you wear that suit and those sunglasses, you look like you're in the FBI.
I-Language: When you wear that suit and those sunglasses, I think you're in the FBI.