Question

Will anyone be able to check for grammatical errors and give an opinion on the essay itself?

Write about the following topic:
Some people believe that allowing children to make their own cholces on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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Nowadays, in this busy and fast developing world teaching children from an early age to cope with their own decisions (such as food, clothes etc.) and then take the coincidences after that is something that a lot of people believe that it is important for them. On the other hand other people think that it might end up in a society of humans who put their wishes before anyone else's. But which one of these views will predominate?

Firstly, the people who allow their children to make their own decisions are the people who everyone should look up to. It is important to let your children learn from the mistakes their make. The parents can not be with them all the time every day and for that reason, teaching them to deal with their decisons or even problems will help them in the future. Of course, there are always disadvantages such as some people may really forget about that their children will need them at a certain point in life and may loose connection whit them. But that is why it should have that moderately path, where kids will make their own decisions but will feel comfortable to always ask for a advice tueur parents.

On the other hand, there are and the second type of parents which think that too much individualism is not good. It really depends on the parents how they will teach their children to carry on with the independence they have. A lot of them might forget that they are still kids and will need help and advices from time to time and because of that the parents turn their kids in individuals who only think about their own wishes due to the fact that they are let on their own and have to cope with everyone and everything by themselves.

In conclusion, I think that the best decision someone can make is to look up to the first type of parents. That way they will be able to train their children to become independent people who will respect the wishes of others and they will be able to cope with their decisions in the future when they need it.

Answer 1

It's great just a few misspell words, but you can use grammarly to check it. Try to avoid using firstly, secondly and thirdly, you can use To begin with , furthermore , last but not least , On top of that , In addition or you can use point 1, 2 and 3. You should have a thesis. I hope that helps!