179k views
2 votes
Fix this paragraph/sentence to make more sense and make it sound better. how can you rephrase this?

but this poor girl, She never had a chance to share her love with another person. Like the boy, her heart as well played with and broken many, many times. But the girl did not let the pain keep her down. She got up, and she got up stronger than she was before. But the love she had now, each and every day, it made her feel as though she was drowning.


thank you guys for the help! it's appreciated!
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love you, stranger!
and thx for the help!

2 Answers

5 votes
although, the girl hadn’t ever had her chance to share her love with another being. Like the boy, her heart had been hurt many times before but she wouldn’t let her pain hold her down. she stood taller time after time. the love she had now though gave herself the feeling of drowning
User Silvia H
by
5.2k points
4 votes

Here are some alterations made to the original--I hope they help!

This poor girl never had a chance to share her love with another person. Like the boy, her heart played with others and broke many, many times. However, the girl did not let the pain keep her down. She got up, and she got up stronger than she was before. But the love she had now every day made her feel as though she was drowning.

User Radovan Skendzic
by
4.9k points