Question

Some one give a detailed review of my song plz i need input so i can improve it.

When i said bye i expected to never see you again
but i pass by and you are there again
and i can't say hi or greet you so i just take back my extended hand
and i wish that there was something i could say but dam.n

we were best friends and we told each other everything
we talked everyday and always said good morning
we asked how eachother were and held the other when they were mourning
but did you ever answer honestly to how are you
a three letter word was supposed to suffice
i dare you to try to get me to sum up my life
and then be pleased when i say 'mhm' it was 'gud'
and as if that didn't hurt you well i ask you to chose
chose who, and when you don't do
Well goodbye you. no i get it though
i get it though it must've felt like another cold blow
when you're living in the arctic driving snow
and it must've frostbit
must've dimmed your glow

when i said bye i expected to never see you again
but i pass by and you are there again
and i can't say hi or greet you so i just take back my extended hand
and i wish that there was something i could say but dam.n

now i feel like saying a word would be a curse
you need space it would only make it worse
and i hope you don't read this because i know you don't need this
but it's the only way i get things off my chest
and if it's poison y'know i can't let it rest
so i hope you can just do your best and i'll do mine too

when i said bye i expected to never see you again
but i pass by and you are there again
and i can't say hi or greet you so i just take back my extended hand
and i wish that there was something i could say but dam.n

dam.n what is there to say everything was laid out so clear

And i know it's probably selfish to say all this here

But what am i supposed to do i have nowhere else and you’re not the only one

Whos not moving from the trail because i'm staying here even though

It hurts like a stitch rip everytime i see a text of yours and i can’t click reply

And it may be narcissistic but to be honest

when i said bye i expected to never see you again
but i pass by and you are there again
and i can't say hi or greet you so i just take back my extended hand
and i wish that there was something i could say but dam.n

when i said bye i expected to never see you again
but i pass by and you are there again
and i can't say hi or greet you so i just take back my extended hand
and i wish that there was something i could say but dam.n

Answer 1

When going through your song most of if sounds amazing, I can feel that you connect to this song very much more or so to these lines When i said bye i expected to never see you again but i pass by and you are there again and i can't say hi or greet you so i just take back my extended hand and i wish that there was something i could say but dam.n. I like the part where it says i dare you to try to get me to sum up my life. I feel this is a great song and it will get somewhere just believe in yourself!!! Good job!!!!

Step-by-step explanation: