Question

Is this a good story guys?

You dont have to read it all.. Pls tell me if you want the other half :p
The Zinc’s

Written by: Ava. N
Characters by: Ava. N


One of the saddest days of Zinc’s was in 2000 on Friday, Jan 1. It was a new year’s day, everybody was having fun, running around playing, and singing. The Zinc always invited people they came into their village. The people of Zink were the nicest and smartest of the village. They didn't even know what was going to happen next when they invited Zandar. Zandar the ruler of kings. He wore a black robe, and went straight to the church on Friday, Jan 1. I was there. I knew what he looked liked and I didnt like him at first.

Napkin followed to the church, trying to stay behind him but not too close but not too far. He took off his robe, then some weird muscler cats came out of nowhere.

“Man those are some big cat’s, I wonder if they're just here to worship their gods or something.” Napkin whispered.

“Is the ship here yet?” Zandar Whispered.

“Yes my king.” The minion bowed his head in respeak.

A starved cat wobbled up the stars with swollen pink eyes.

“My king may you spray us some food.” The starving swollen cat whimpered.

“My people are bringing some food right now and it's filled with crates of bread and fish. Tell all your friends to come over and get some bread and fish. The more friends you bring the more bread and fish you get.” Znadar said in a happy tone.

“Yes my lord! I shall hurry off and get all my family and frineds.” The starving cat, not looking starving anymore, ran off behind an open alley.

“I can see the crates from here, you may go get more cat’s.” Zandar hesitated. “For our feast.”

A few minutes later, a large number of boxes, and crates were everywhere around the church. I never smelled like fish or bread anywhere, it was mostly smelled like powder. Napkin snuck behind the church getting to one of the boxes. The smells stinged his nose, making him almost sneeze. He tried all his strength to open one of the boxes.

“AHH!” Napkin screamed.

Answer 1

Not to bad did you do by your self

Answer 2

Yes! Good start... I would suggest adding some stronger vocabulary to parts so the reader can enjoy the story more as it continues.

Step-by-step explanation:

Instead of using “saddest“, use “desolate”, etc. I hope this helped! Keep writing, love it so far!