Question

Can someone if this story is good? I made it. It is called The Tree Tragedy!

One day, when Ellie and, Mason were hanging out in the forest, they noticed a Tree House. "Hey! Ellie do you see that?" Said Mason. "Yes! I do, it's a Tree House, should we climb it?" Ellie replied. "Oh yes, of course we should, what's life without a little risk." Mason said as he climbed up the tree.

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"Wow, this place sure is demolished, we should go back down.." Ellie said with fear.


"Awe, c'mon Ellie! Don't be such a wuss!" Said Mason as he jumped around moving the Tree House with him. There were vines covering the walls around them, cracks and holes in the ground. Ellie was scared, but she didn't want Mason to think she was a sissy. "I'm not a wuss, i was just saying uhm.. we should go back down because we could find something even cooler!" She said with a sarcastic like tone.



About 5 minutes later.. Ellie heard a noise. "Mason.. did you hear that..?" Ellie said shaking. "Calm down Ellie, it was probably just an animal!" The Tree House then tipped, almost throwing them off, They both screamed, Ellie was hanging from one of the branches, Mason was holding on to the rim of the Tree House.



Someone heard them screaming, they ran towards them and saw Ellie hanging from one of the branches, just then, Ellie fell. The person ran and caught her in their arms. "Please save my friend!" Ellie cried. "Don't worry, i'll get him, just stay here" Said the stranger. They climbed up and signaled to Mason to grab their hand, Mason held tight on the ledge moving towards the stranger, he grabbed their hand and they both ascended down. Ellie and Mason both looked at the stranger and said, "Thanks! You saved my life!"

Answer 1

This is a really good story! If you continue it I would definitely read it! I would add a couple things to it to make the stranger seem more mysterious. Just to make it interesting.

Answer 2

I feel like the ending is a bit boring, and I didn't develop any feelings or care for the characters getting harmed, also I think that you should slow down the story, it seems like everything just happened and it sorta goes TOO fast. I'm only saying these things because i'd like to see you succeed, also one more thing! When I first read this story, I didn't feel like the introduction grabbed my attention, and the tree house kind of seemed like they were at some abandoned building in the middle of a forest. LAST THING!! I'd like to know what could possibly be knocking down the tree, perhaps you could add something that makes it seem like the tree house is closing in on them, and an entity can be seen from inside of the branches. Something that just elaborates on what is hurting them, so we can get more of a bone chilling feel from whatever entity is throwing them around. I hope this helps!