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2 votes
This poem is for extra credit plz tell me what u think its called love is love :

I've been through enough heartbreak
I've had enough heartache
for god's sake
so much pain, aye
time to change my ways
time to quit playin fake
so much pain, aye
swervin left right
thinkin bout you all night
I ain't gon' let you leave without a fight
in the darkness, you're my light
in the face of death, you're my life
no need for sorrow when you're by my side
I might be heartless, but I can still love
cause your my love
love is love
ain't nothing going to change that uh

1 Answer

5 votes

Answer:

See explanation for answer.

Step-by-step explanation:

Tips:

In the very first line, I highly recommend you take out the word “enough” only because you repeat that word in the second line of the poem which makes it sound wordy and repetitive.

In my personal opinion, I would change the line, “for god’s sake” to “for my sake” just so you don’t accidentally or even mildly offend anyone.

The usage of slang in your poem gives the poem a youthful “vibe” but if you want your poem to sound more finished and less like your just talking to someone then make sure to take out words like “aye and uh”.

Maybe when you say “love is love” say “love is you” so it doesn’t sound so repetitive.

Instead of calling yourself "heartless" maybe say "people call me heartless". Never put yourself down.

Compliments:

I love your rhyme scheme, you really thought out how to keep the poem going with internal rhymes, external rhymes, etc...and still have it make sense.

Overall, I truly love your poem and based on what I read it seems like you really care about this person.

I hope this helps!

Have a lovely day!

User Ian Campbell
by
6.7k points